Music has been something that has taken me to new places recently. I can feel things through music with a clarity that I don’t think I had before. This song, link above (you should listen), “Supermarket Flowers” by Ed Sheeran, split me open the other day. It’s a song he wrote about his grandmother after she passed away from the perspective of his own mother. He shared it at her funeral and his grandfather insisted it should go on the album. Sometimes we wait until people are gone and that loss cracks us open and we finally feel all of what they meant to us. I think life is more abundant when we let folks know how we feel here and now, in this present moment. Well I agree with Ed, I too have an angel in the shape of my mum.
My mother is my biggest fan, always has been, and she’s an absolute rock. People sometimes say I’m being really strong right now. Well my mom is probably the strongest person I know and she with my dad helped make me the man I am today. Opportunity after opportunity was placed in front of me. Her and my dad put God ever before me and made sure that I had every opportunity to met the real him. My mother is selfless, putting others continually before herself. She cared for my grandmother so honorably for years and years and years, in what I know and can only imagine we’re some of the darkest times of her life. A worrier by nature, she’s put up with me giving her plenty to worry about over the years. Whether it was taking her literally when she said I didn’t have a curfew prom night and not coming home until morning, or going to college 7 hours away, or moving and letting me drive across county alone to California, or supporting another move to continue my education in New Jersey, my mom handled it all with poise and grace when I chose to prematurely add some gray hairs to her head.
Well, Mom you’ve been an unbelievable mother. I couldn’t have asked for a better one. You did pick me up and brushed me off all the times I fell. And now, my life’s taken an unexpected tumble here at its midpoint. Mothers and sons have a special bond. I’m sure it doesn’t get any easier when your son is forty. I know you still want to reach down, lift me up and make sure I’m going to be okay. Well Mom, you don’t have to worry about me anymore. You’ve created in me a strength that God is raising me up to beyond what I ever knew was possible. We’ve talked about this many times and I know you have the same confidence as I that He’s got this. He’s is and will continue to make such beauty out of these ashes. I know it’ll be beyond our wildest dreams because that is just like Him. Caleb and Daniel mean the world to you too and they are going to be okay. They are going to be brought up in that same legacy of love, faith, and family that was passed down to you. It will carry them just as it carries me now. Everything is going to be okay. And I just wanted to say thanks. Thanks for helping to make me into the man I am today. Everyone isn’t as lucky as I. Thanks for loving me so well. I’m so happy that you’ve got to see the man I am becoming and enjoy and share the love you have with Caleb and Daniel. They absolutely adore you. You are and forever will always be an angel in the shape of my mum. Mom you are an absolute treasure. I couldn’t have made it this far in life without you. You deserve to know it now and be celebrated in the present. So glad god gave me you and can’t wait to share the rest of this story and journey with you.
From The Whale's Belly 