I believe God is way less formal than what we tend to consider God to be. Maybe it’s that we are more comfortable with a structured, somewhat predictable God…thinking somehow we’ll know what we are getting in to if God fits some kind of traditional box. God always appears on his own terms, in his own way. It brings to mind C.S. Lewis’ account of the children in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe hearing of Aslan the first time. To their surprise Aslan is a lion and a king you see, representative of God in Lewis’ allegorical story. Upon hearing such the children each have a bit of a different response: “Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delicious strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of summer.” Throughout the story Aslan shows up when and where he wants, not super often, and seemingly never on demand. Susan has some concerns, “Is he quite safe?” She askes Mr. Beaver. “’Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver, ‘…Course he isn’t safe, but he’s good.’” I’ve found this to be very much true. God is not safe….but is good. My feelings, my hurts, my unresolved wounds, they aren’t safe when the Lion comes round. But he is good.
Recently I awoke on a Sunday, prepared my morning coffee to start my day and found myself walking a path outside of the normal traditional box I usually expect to encounter God. As I prepared to get ready to attend church I had a nagging desire to grab a fishing pole and go on a hike with Jesus instead. Not something I normally think to do or how I usually spend a Sunday morning. But I was by myself this weekend and decided to give it a go. Peter, Andrew, James and John all experience encounters with Jesus while fishing so I figured why not give it a try. I packed a pole and a tackle box and headed off to a trail I knew that went right beside a river flowing between two lakes. A perfect spot I supposed and off I went.
A quick 30 min drive later I was sitting in a parking lot at a state park wondering if I was being a dumb, silly, lazy or a bit of all of the above. Since I didn’t know how long this adventure would last I figured step one would be to find the park restroom before beginning the fishing excursion. As I hiked up a set of stairs and started down a paved trail to the park house I began to hear a child crying. Not a wailing cry, not an angry cry, but one of those cries that comes after a child has fallen and been hurt. That cry where you know it was much bigger in the beginning but has started to subside. I turned a corner and say a young boy, maybe 5 or 6, kneeled on the ground next to a man, had to be either his dad or granddad, and he was holding what looked to be a first aid kit. Blood was pouring from the boy’s nose and with a knee on the ground I saw him look up at the man and questioningly whimper, “Am I okay?” It was at this moment that I knew I had been to church that day. It was a moment like when Neo in the Matrix plugs into the programs and can download abilities and knowledge directly to his brain. I knew I was there that day, in the first 5 minutes just to have this moment and experience this minute with God. All at once I knew the reality that each of us are that little boy looking up and asking “am I okay?” I knew I was that boy asking for myself after a lot of hurt and pain, nose bloodied, doubt wavering my voice looking up to God and asking him Am I still okay? Isn’t that what we each want to know after so much pain and heartache. “Am I okay?” Life hits some of us so hard at times that I think we quit asking and decide we aren’t. That we are too hurt, too damaged, too much, too not enough. You know what I also noticed in this interaction…I don’t recall that the man answered the boy. If it was me with my son’s I would have tried to reassure them and say yes even if I didn’t really know. This man preceded to get down beside the young boy on the ground and bring a soft rag up to his nose and just said in a calm reassuring voice, how about we go to the bathroom over there and get you cleaned up. When I ask God if I am okay, I want him to reassure me that I am. He usually doesn’t. Instead, he says “How about we get you cleaned up.” Unfortunately, God is not in the business of keeping us from getting hurt. Life hits us hard at times. If we live and love for any amount of time, our nose is going to get bloodied. I think maybe the hardest thing to do at times is to let him see the thing that hurts, the parts of us that are wounded. It’s too raw, or hurts too much, or is too embarrassing. Sometimes for me it’s that I feel I should have known better, learned a prior lesson, or just been smarter. And so I stand there having fallen with blood dripping, looking up and finally honestly asking “am I okay?”
Maybe you are out there like me and life has knocked you down to a knee at some point. Maybe you’ve got a wound that hurts and is dripping blood today. Maybe it’s so old that through the passing of time it has scabbed over. Let me encourage you to look up and pose the question. Ask God am I okay. He might not give you a yes or no answer. Sitting there quietly beside you ministering to your pain is the approach I often find he takes. Sometimes it takes me a while to get from that initial wailing state to a calmer whimpering ready to be cared for state. Sometimes I’m in a state of just pushing it down deep and ignoring it altogether. Nevertheless, he kneels and waits for us to be ready to get cleaned up. So that Sunday morning I decided to give him my hurt. I think it’s a bit of a process unfortunately. Maybe I let him have a little more of it each day. Sometimes it’s becoming aware of it when I react in a certain way or feel certain things at moments I don’t expect. He’s not safe but I can bear witness that he is good. He’s good to care for us in all our ups and downs, joys and pains, loves and heartaches, gains and losses…we just have to look up and ask him, Am I okay? Then let him lovingly clean the dirt of life off of us.
Postscript 1 for those wondering: I did eventually make it down to the river and after about 40 minutes I finally caught a bass. It was awesome. I should have quit right then but got greedy and next cast I lost my favorite lure in a tree. And also know that God meets us where we are, especially when we are open to looking for him wherever he may be found. Follow the random nudges and see where they lead.
Postscript 2: As I looked down writing this I found it so funny that this was in my windows search bar after talking about Aslan the lion 
. It just so happens unbeknownst to me to be World Lion Day today as I write this. Obviously I had to click to see where this rabbit hole could lead and allow me to close by sharing surprising facts about lions provided by AZ Animals.
- Lions are not kings of the jungle. They don’t live in jungles but stick to woodlands, thick bush, and grasslands as well as some semi-desert areas
- A lion’s roar can travel long distances, some have even carried up to 3 miles.
- Female lions are in charge. They make up the main numbers in the pride, raise the cubs and do a large part of the hunting
- Prides can have more than 1 male. In fact, up to seven males can work together in a ‘coalition’ to defend the pride.
- Lions can get hurt on hunts. Some lions are badly injured or even killed when hunting larger prey such as giraffes or buffaloes.
- Female lions synchronize their fertile periods. giving birth at the same time. Then, they work together to raise the cubs in a ‘creche’ system to give the cubs the best chance of survival.
- Lions can climb. They can be found chilling on the lower branches during hot weather. However, they are generally too heavy to tackle the higher parts of trees.
From The Whale's Belly 